My Man of Seduction

Before I quit fortune telling several months ago, I went to a fortune teller. Among other things, I was curious about the state of my personal romance for the coming year of 2011. And the fortune teller said in the month of June, I will either be seduced by a man or will seduce a man myself. And the relationship will spark like wild fire and then sizzle. But it makes for a great romantic drama (that I haven't had for over a year) or according to my friend Jacob, quite the BBQ.

The rule of my life is that if I can guess who it is, it probably isn't him. Life catches me by surprise most of the time. The answers to my life's questions almost always come in an unexpected form. So, if you think I have you in mind, you are 95% wrong. But I don't think I would be the one seducing. There really aren't any men within my radius. Besides, I am not really the seducing kind. Maybe Fortune will bring a new shipment of boys my way this month. So, who will it be???? I will let you know when I find out!

The Plastic Surgeon and I

broke up. We talked the following morning after our second date but hadn't exchanged texts or talked for over 2 weeks. So, naturally, I thought we broke up. Then he called me last night out of the blue and we ended up talking until 2:30 in the morning.

So you think this is getting good right? Well, I thought so, too.


We started out great. We joked and laughed a lot. We talked about baseball, volleyball, books, his psycho client, church, our dreams, how we want to raise kids, why we are not married, and what our family thinks about that, etc. We also talked about what we expected from our future husband/ wife. He thought I expected too much from my husband.

Toward the end of our conversation, I realized how big the cultural gap was between us. He's Ko-Ko (Korean-Korean as opposed to Korean-American) and I don't think his expectations and my expectations of marriage jived very well. He thought I was too American in my way of thinking and the way I expressed my opinions. I think he was overwhelmed by my straightforwardness and honesty. (Or maybe turned-off is a better word.) I was actually stunned that he thought that that was a bad thing. Then I realized that I had never dated a Korean man before and didn't know what their expectations were exactly. I had an idea of what they were like, but I thought this one was different but was disappointed that he wasn't. It just confirmed my belief that I would be better off with an American.

So, back to square one.

Along came the Plastic Surgeon. Take two

After texting back and forth a few times and a couple of short phone calls, I decided that this boy and I were not going anywhere. The signs he sent were wishy-washy, and unimpressive. When we went over 2 weeks without talking, I definitely thought everything was water under the bridge.

Then, the wise woman stepped in.

My former primary teacher (who introduced us) was frustrated that nothing was happening between the two of us so she asked us to have dinner with her. She asked me this past Sunday when I was available and I told her Monday night or Friday night. I didn't hear anything back from her so I thought maybe the three of us would get together on Friday night. I was on my way home from work on Monday when I got a text message from him asking me if I wanted to go see the movie "Rapunzel" that night. (The whole process took about 45 minutes.) I was suspicious that his move might have been manipulated by my primary teacher so I asked her if she had anything to do with it. She said she just asked him if he had a terminal illness or if he was an alien. He got the point and asked me out. Anyway, I thought "Rapunzel" was an interesting choice but I agreed and we went to see the movie.

The movie was cute, I admit. And it was in 3D. The last time I saw an animated movie in the theater was "Aladdin" and things have definitely changed since then. We had dinner after and chatted about various things like what we are currently reading (we both like to read) and about more in-depth, personal things. Like before, we had a great conversation. When he dropped me off, I said "Call me if you ever get bored. I'll come and play with you." I think he appreciated that. ;)

Having said all that, I don't really know where this is all going. He is a very good person. I feel warmth in his presence. Not very many people exude that kind of warmth. Even so, I don't know if there will even be a third date. Well, we are still supposed to have dinner with my former primary teacher but that wouldn't be a date. I don't know what the future holds but I can still look forward to uncertainty unfolding into certainty and enjoy the journey.

Meanwhile, I will just sit back and whistle at the next hot boy that walks by (internally and reverently just in case).

So....

I come bearing not-so-pleasant news. I got my first rejection letter from Harvard. Not a good thing and I was bummed out for like 30 seconds and bounced back to my usual happy, chipper self. So, no biggie.

And as I am sure some of you are wondering about my frog-turned-prince of a plastic surgeon, I will relay my latest news. We texted back and forth for the last week and a half and spoke on the phone twice (5 minutes the first time and 10 minutes the second, both of which he initiated). I can tell he is super naive and shy (the shy part I knew because he told me) about women and dating (which of course explains his bachelorhood at the age of 38). According to my old primary teacher, the man likes me and is interested in me. But because I am moving back to the States later this year, I think both of us are a bit hesitant about developing this relationship. Well, I guess I can't speak for him but that's my guess. Or as some of you may say, "He's just not that into you!" In which case, I may just resort to grooming my blog and have her date other blogs and find fulfillment in the happiness of my cyber creation. Ah man, that sounds so depressing.

My 1.0 date of the year

If you are a faithful follower of my blog, you would know that I was supposed to go on a 0.25 date last night. But to my complete and utter surprise, it turned out to be a full-fledged 1.0 date. I know you are all dying to hear about the date so let me gab on a little more before I get to the meat of the story.

My dear friend Maureen and I had our last supper before I went on my date. She left Korea this morning and we wanted to share our last meal together before we parted. I had always wanted to take her to a fortune teller before she left Korea (to vicariously fulfill a need since I decided to quit my addiction to fortune telling). We found an old man sitting in his little metal booth taking a nap. We knocked on his door and entered. He told various helpful and not-so helpful little things about Maureen's life while occasionally stealing a surreptitious glance my way. He told me not to concern myself too much with a man's looks or height. "Just go and date," he said "and come back to get your compatibility read and I will give you 50% off!" And he handed me his business card with "50% off" written on the back. He asked for a hug (which is very rare in Korea) and spanked my ass for good luck (I think). So, with an advice from a wise man and a spanked butt, I said goodbye to Maureen and headed out to meet my party.

My old primary teacher and I met up and went to the restaurant where our guy was waiting. To help me mentally prepare, she had told me that he wasn't much of a looker but that he was a very nice person. So, I didn't expect any fireworks flying at first sight. And it didn't. But, he was much better looking than I had imagined and he had a very kind face. (I think that was her strategy--to make me think he was super ugly so that when I actually saw him, I would actually be impressed.) Anyway, we sat and talked and ate. And suddenly, she said she had an appointment with the missionaries and that she had to go. I panicked a little bit because I thought she was going to stay for the whole thing.

But she was a wise woman.

After she left, we got talking about religion, faith, truth, our past and life in general. Pretty heavy stuff for a first date. When I am curious about a person, I ask very deep and personal questions point-blank: "When was the most difficult time of your life?" "Why are you not married?" "Tell me about the woman you loved the most."(If any of you are thinking about gleaning dating advice from my blog, you must know that you cannot ask these questions without having acquired a certain amount of charm and flair. Otherwise, you will be branded as a psycho and you can just forget about your prospective dates with the man.)

I think he was amused by me. He answered all the questions, which begot more questions and more answers. I was deeply impressed by his character and commitment to and love for his family. We left the restaurant and went to a traditional Korean tea house (very cool). We sat and chatted a little about literature and culture. And then the owner kicked us out because it was already 10 pm.

He drove me home but when we got to my door, he asked if we could talk some more. So, we drove around my neighborhood for two more hours and gabbed away happily. We laughed a lot. By the time midnight rolled around and when he finally dropped me off at my door, we both had smiles on our faces.

Will there be a happily-ever-after? Tune in next week and see what happens!

I am dating!

So, I have been praying consistently for dating opportunities after being inspired by the story of my friend (who shall remain nameless because I may embarrass her but it starts with "Mau" and ends with "reen"). For a month or so, nothing happened. Just lollygagging around and going about my life's business until something dawned on me today.

I have been living in Korea for a year now. And the total number of dates I've been on is 1.5. You may be wondering about the 0.5. Let me explain.

I have actually been on three "dates". But I didn't think the first two dates were dates but the guys thought they were (they tried to pay for everything). And I thought I was on a date the last time I went on a "date" but it wasn't a date according to the guy who asked me out (what the heck?). So, since only half of us thought they were dates, I decided to count only half of them. Hence 1.5 dates.

And then today I realized that my prayers were being answered in the most unorthodox way. A couple of weeks ago, I got a random friend request on Facebook and a novel of a message from a dude I have never seen in my life. To protect his identity, I will call him Jakob Reidkopf. He saw my profile and read some posts on my blog and confessed his undying infatuation for my blog persona. And! He created a blog so that his online persona could date my online persona (true words from the horse's mouth). So, our blogs are dating. And since I am the creator of my blog, I will account for 25% of their relationship.

Also, I reconnected with a woman I used to know when I was a kid living in Korea (I think she was my primary teacher) through Facebook. (It seems like Facebook is a recurring theme of the day.) And she wants to introduce me to this old bachelor who is a plastic surgeon. And I think he kind of has a quasi-girlfriend and she said he was ugly but very nice. Regardless, we are all meeting next Tuesday for dinner. I am reluctant to call this a date but since he is interested and I am mildly curious, I will say this is a 0.25 date as well. Which! accounts for 0.5 date I have scored so far after praying nightly. I know this doesn't seem much but it's a 33% increase from my dating history last year. And it's only February.

At this rate, I may get hitched by November.

Speaking of Marriage...

Life is full of humor. As soon as I finished writing the previous post, I received an email from a guy on LDSlinkup who wrote me the following message:

miss, it is with joy and pride that I address you. on this site I'm looking to join the woman I want to marry after the discovery of your picture I could not stay without writing you miss I want you to be my wife, I am a member of the church thanks you.

Ask and ye shall receive! Where do I sign up?

The Fortuneteller Tells

So, I went to go get my fortune read again because I was so curious about where I would end up next year. My co-workers and I went to this famous fortuneteller after work. I applied to Columbia, Harvard, UCLA and University of Washington. He said I will be rejected by Columbia and University of Washington; have 50% chance of getting into Harvard; and will be accepted by UCLA with open arms. Well, I was just glad he didn't say I will be rejected by Harvard. At least there is some hope.

He also said that I will tempt or be tempted by a man in June (right before I leave Korea! Amazing timing, Life!). That seems like the highlight of my new year other than the fact that I will be starting school again. (I am soooo excited about that!)The fortuneteller also warned me that if I don't get married by 2016 or 2017, it would truly suck because I would probably have a very difficult time finding someone. All the fortunetellers I've talked to always tell me how hard it would be for me to find a man like I need reminding. (Oh yeah? Really? Tell me about it.)

So, there it is. If the fortuneteller is right, I'll end up in Los Angeles with a "Will Work For Marriage" sign by the freeway exit. I will see you there.

Fortune-telling

So, I went and got my fortune read with my friends yesterday. He was pretty much dead-on about my personality, talents, family and other things so I was very interested in hearing what he had to say about my future.

He said next year is going to be a good year for me to meet someone and that my husband and I will be a "goosebump couple" which means we will get along so disgustingly well that we will make other people gag and shudder in goosebumps. (I liked this part. :))

I also heard some very very good news but I will not tell until it really does come true. (and no, it's not about a boy but equally exciting.) If it does come to pass, I am sure y'all hear all about it on here and Facebook come spring.

He also talked about the five elements of the material world: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water and the colors that specifically represent my elements (the color-element relations are different for every person.).

Blue and green are my lucky colors. Red attracts money and men. (He said if I wear more red, I will attract money and men and what girl doesn't want to attract money and men? Well said, brother!) But unfortunately to my horror, my absolute worst color is black. I wear black A. LOT. Most of my wardrobe is made of black. He said wearing black drains me of money. And all this time, I have been blithely lollygaggin' around in black draining my pockets. He said black is a funeral color. Yes, the funeral of my wealth, I say.

So today I did some long over-due spring cleaning. I dug out all my black winter stuff, stomped on them, burned them, buried the ashes and took a shower. Just kidding. But I did dig them out and put them away. Since I didn't bring much summer clothes when I moved to Korea, I don't have much to wear now. I guess that just means I have to go do some shopping. Oh, the burden of my life. I'll just have to hop on the subway and see what's out there.

And if you haven't guessed by now, I will be wearing a lot more red from now on. You will be able to spot me from a mile away every time. (What is that red dot? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Hannah!)

And I will tell you when money and men start pouring in.

P.S. Some of you might wonder if I really believe this kind of stuff. The answer is: ummm, yeah.

Dear Mr. Perfect,

Once upon a time when I was nineteen, an older friend suggested that I should make a list of about 10 things I wanted in my future spouse. I thought it was a brilliant idea so I went and made a list of 120 things. I proudly showed it to my younger sister, Natalie. She looked at me blankly and told me I was out of my mind so I went and reduced the list to 60 requirements and 20 "preferences." I even handed them out to my Mia Maids (a group of young girls I was teaching at Church during Sunday School) as part of the lesson on choosing an eternal spouse. (Oh, how I cringe every time I think of this!!!!)

Now that I am thirty and still single, my list has shrunk significantly. My future husband doesn't have to aspire to write a book anymore. I no longer have a written list of things I want in a spouse, but I still do have a mental image of what he will be like. But at the same time, I have learned to expect to be surprised and have realized that when I fall in love, I break all the rules. (For example, I wanted someone who liked and listened to classical music almost exclusively but dated a guy who was in a gothic rock band.) So yes, life has sometimes caught me by surprise but I think it's inevitable to have certain preferences when it comes to finding the person I want to be with for the rest of my life and foreeeeeeeeeeeeever moooooooore.

The Kim clan has been continuously telling me not to be so picky, but I am not so sure if I am.(Well, maybe a little bit, but I assure you the height of my expectations are within the human reach.)

In all seriousness, all I want is a genuinely good human being with brains who shares the same faith as I do. (And understands the Korean culture or at least try to and likes Korean food. Oh, and there is the chemistry thing, too.)

As for looks, he doesn't have to look like this:



Or like this:



Or like this:




That is not to say I will reject him if he looked like that but really, who am I kidding? As long as he suits my fancy and is not drop-dead ugly (and it's very hard to be drop-dead ugly, folks) I am game. So, Mr. Perfect (for me), where the heck are you?