Monday, May 9, 2011

Self-Acceptance (even with a mullet) Day 7

I know this is supposed be like day 15 but this time I have a really good excuse. I was super busy AND my sister and niece are visiting from the States AND my internet cable was disconnected for several days.

And I got a mullet.

But not on purpose. I wanted to hurl profanities at the hair stylist when I realized what she was doing. But the hair was already cut and she was doing an updo for the concert I had that evening (more on that later) so all I said was "Thank you for all your hard work." It wasn't until after I took a shower that night that I discovered how serious the damage was. #&@*%^$#^@&$%#@&%*$*#@%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I am definitely considering a perm. It's very difficult to accept myself when I look like a pissed-off 80s rock star. I thought this whole self-acceptance program was running very smoothly. Life really does throw in a wrench when things are too easy. I just have to remind myself that I am not my hair and that the real me can handle any hirsute tragedies that fall before me.

On the bright side, my sister and niece are visiting. It's really nice to have my little 3-year old niece around. She sits on the toilet while I am in the shower and sings for me and stands next to me and plays makeup with cotton swabs and pads when I am getting ready in the morning. She draws me pictures and gives me tons of hugs and kisses. She really makes me want to have a little girl.

Another highlight of the weekend was the concert I was in. I sang the soprano solo of Mozart's Requiem. I hadn't performed with an orchestra close to two years and I realized how much I missed singing and how happy I am when I am performing. We have the same concert on June 6 so I am very excited to sing again.

So, today's homework is:

Lesson: Self-acceptance is your home. It is where you return to find yourself again. When self-acceptance is low, you experience a ceaseless anxiety that causes you to doubt yourself, to be indecisive, to wobble, to question everything and to play safe. You search outside yourself for validation, approval and authority. Self-acceptance helps you increase your overall trust in life. The more you accept yourself, the more you trust your innate goodness, wise heart and natural intuition.

Exercise: The more you accept yourself, the more you trust that life doesn't just happen to you; it happens for you. Decide to trust in yourself today. Commit 100 percent of your trust to this and see what happens.

Okay. I will do that. I will trust myself and accept whatever consequences that may come my way. I mean life does go on whether I do or not so why not just roll with the punches? The mullet didn't happen to me; it happened *for* me. Thank you, Mullet, for helping me awaken to my true self and giving me an opportunity to love myself unconditionally despite your hideous look.

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