Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Breaking News! Heavenly Mother is in Korea!

For those of you who missed the second coming of Jesus:

The World Mission Society Church in Korea was founded by a man named Ahn Sang-Hong who was baptized in 1948 and subsequently became "translated" into Jesus. Unfortunately for those of you who wanted to fly out and kiss his feet, he died in 1985. But his wife Zang Gil-ja is the female incarnation of God and she is still alive and kicking. The congregation prays to her and her husband. I know you are all dying to see what she looks like. So, here she is:



If you ever doubted the ethnic superiority of Koreans, this will dispel all unbelief. I mean both Jesus and Heavenly Mother are Koreans. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Korea is really Zion.

And get this: 70% of the members of this church is female. When they first join the church, they are told not to tell their husbands. The church requires substantial donations "for the glory of God" and many go into debt to pay their "tithes" so they can go to heaven. One of the main tenets includes the belief that the world will end at the end of 2012, before which they hope to recruit 144,000 members. (And what if 2012 comes along and the world is still rockin'? Does our Heavenly Mother just say "oops" or does the church go on clearance sale?)

A female God and her female underlings. Talk about the irony of feminism and abuse all rolled in one shot.

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