Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Self-Acceptance: Day 2

"Lesson: Self-acceptance teaches you that you are not who you think you are. You are able to discern between your ego and your Unconditioned Self. Early on, children start to construct a persona to help cope with the demands of being in a family, going to school and facing the world. On close inspection, you find that your persona or ego is made up of judgments about who you are, what is possible, what you deserve and what you don't. These judgments become the lens through which you see yourself and the world."

"[The perfectionist] type focuses on getting things right and being good. It conceives an ideal self (rather than a real self) that has high standards and stringent rules you must try to live up to. Your persona judges your efforts, and the more you judge yourself, the more you move out of alignment with the innate goodness of your Unconditioned Self."

Today was not a perfect day. My ego got a good beating *twice*. I didn't do everything I needed to get done. And I cussed (even though it was only on chat and not to the person). Usually my internal default alarm would go off about how I should be a better person and all that jazz. But instead, I tried not to judge and measure my goodness. I Am. And that should be good enough. It sure didn't feel that way, though. So, instead of feeling guilty about feeling guilty, I just let myself feel guilty and accepted that I felt guilty. And then it slowly went away. :) It's a big blow to my ego, but I am trying to be okay with living an imperfect life. It's a hard pill to swallow.

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