Love Marriage: Me and Myself

Two years ago, I embarked on an intense spiritual journey that included leaving the religion I was brought up in, mustering up the courage to pursue my dream, and healing from my past. Although I have much more work to do, I have experienced a monumental shift in the way I look at life. I’ve learned many lessons along the way, but as I look back on the journey, I keep coming back to this one truth: everything I want and need are in the present moment. This deceptively simple truth aligns me to a power greater than myself, as it allows me to become more receptive to inspiration, miracles, and love.

So, what I strive for these days is not so much how many gigs I land, or how much money I make, but how aligned I feel with God, the Universe, the Infinite. I have learned that one of the most important lessons we can learn in this life is to learn how to receive God’s unconditional love, which is the same thing as loving ourselves unconditionally. This also means forgiving ourselves over and over and over again for not measuring up and falling off the wagon. When I realized this, I changed my internal dialogue from, “Oh, you are feeling anxious again! When will you learn that fear is only an illusion!” to “I love you even though you are feeling anxious.” These loving, forgiving thoughts have changed my internal state completely. I have learned that when we feed our negative emotion with resistance and self-judgment, we strengthen the very negative emotion we are trying to eradicate, creating more resistance and becoming enslaved to the vicious cycle. But when we step out of the cycle, we feel whole.

Now, I gauge my daily success based on these two questions: How do I feel about myself, and do I feel grateful? I know I am off God’s grid if I am experiencing fear and anxiety and judging myself for feeling that way. But when I am aligned with God, I experience internal abundance, and love and gratitude flow easily. And from this place, I receive guidance to navigate the seemingly complicated labyrinth of life. But in moments of clarity, I know that each step is a destination and in each moment, I am standing on holy ground.