I have never publicly shared my poems (I don't write them very often anyways) but since I have a blog, I have decided to sheepishly make my debut. Sharing personal poetry is like standing in front of an audience naked. It's like turning my heart inside out. But I think I am in a safe place so here it is: (Ick!)
there are galaxies of galaxies in an eye
it may be in there, you know
the answer to a soul's yearning for meaning
it's somehow in the glitter of an eye
a question that lingers and returns
as the soft blades of baby leaves turn brown
and the delicate membrane of a dew drop gives way
to the inevitability of the passing of a season
and the inevitability of its return
leaves come back in blossoms of buds
dews arrive wrapped in aqueous blankets
they forget their fleeting existence
the soul receives no comfort
but in the stillness of our heartbeats
I notice the galaxies of another's eye
I notice the galaxies of another's eye
maybe the answer is in there
in the sparkle,
in the beauty
in the mystery
in the love
of a soul that doesn't want to wait
but is ready to fly
Just as it is hard to post one's poems, it is hard to comment on the poem's of others. But I notice that in the penultimate stanza you say:
ReplyDeletebut in the stillness of our heartbeats
I notice the galaxies of another's eye
So is this poem about being attracted to one eye, and then another? In other words, is it like the old Lovin' Spoonful song, "Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?" To choose one love out of many possibilities? It is not a trivial question. There are many attractive people in the world. And not just physically attractive. There are many insightful, interesting, cool, loving, beautiful minds. How does one know that this one is the one? I think that relationships start with connection and compatibility, and then grow and are built with respect, love, kindness and labor. So there are many potential relationships, but after one begins building a relationship, it can grow, depending on many factors, into the one you need.
Probably you are thinking too much. :)
Well, when I wrote "the galaxies of another's eye," I was referring to a specific person who inspired me this thought but I wasn't romantically attracted to him. The depth and the expansiveness that I saw in his eyes are something everyone has. I just caught a glimpse of it in his eyes which made me realize that all the answers I am seeking come from within me.
ReplyDeleteOh and yes, I always think too much. ;)
ReplyDeleteHumans have a gift of rationality, but often we use it too much. I don't know a lot of about Buddhism, but one of the things I like about Zen is that it tries to turn this aspect of mind off so that we can really see. The monkey mind just makes too much noise, a blizzard of thoughts and wonderings that add up to not much.
ReplyDeleteSo the "another's eye" of the poem is your own eye?
You might enjoy this piece about responding to poems. I am stealing this from my English 303 blog:
Here is an interesting short piece by Russell Hunt about two modes of responding to writing–the mockingbird response and the chipmunk response–based on a story by Randall Jarrell:
http://www.stthomasu.ca/~hunt/batpoet.htm
A bat writes a poem about an owl. He shares it with his daytime friends, who have never seen an owl. The mockingbird gives him a technical response such as a teacher might give. The chipmunk shivers with fear and responds ”It’s terrible, just terrible! Is there really something like that at night?”
Which response is more useful to the writer?
Another's eye is my own and everyone else's.
ReplyDeleteI don't know which method is more helpful but personally for me, I don't really care that much about the technicality of writing poetry. I would rather like to know the visceral response of the reader.